My second week of 8 in New Mexico was just as great, if not better than the first. Luckily I’ve had my sweet momma here with me the whole time, keeping herself hiking and playing tennis while I’m at work. She makes me gourmet lunches and thinks of delicious recipes for us to make every other night. When we’re not making homemade flatbread pesto, fresh mozz, and sundried tomato pizza, we’re trying out local restaurants, filling our bellies with flat iron steaks, green chile, scrumptious drinks, and spicy mixes. 

   

  This is called a “Pepino Chilaca” and it has hatch green chile vodka, cucumber, lime, agave, and salt.  

My internship could not be going any better. Everyone in New Mexico is incredibly welcoming, chatty, and helpful. Everyone in the office wants to help me get my bearings straight and they’re eager to bestow every ounce of knowledge they have on me. For this I am so grateful, for I am learning at an exponential rate. 

  
  
Though my days are busy and my nights end around nine, enjoying this beautiful desert climate is not the same without gabby and dad. Luckily they will be here by the end of the month and we will venture back up to Santa Fe and maybe Taos. Thankfully I look forward to seeing these two soon, but waiting for my other two loves is much further on the horizon. I miss my best friends in the whole world, little Tita, Keegan (who has been rough and tough like a little bad boy!) and of course Connor. 

   
   Even though he is across the globe and far from my love, I know he is in an amazing place doing even more amazing things and impacting so many young kids and even adult’s lives. I’m so lucky to have someone bring their positivity and love to me (almost always). 

But for now, I’m enjoying more than anything just getting to know myself and getting comfortable with being alone. It’s definitely a challenge but I’m trying to welcome it with the most open arms possible. 

I have had some awesome adventures here, making hikes through the Sandia Mountains, enjoying my morning hour drive to Los Lunas, driving through the mountains to Santa Fe for the weekend, and seeing Luke Bryan at the Isleta Ampetheatre! 

   
   

   
           

Thank you for joining me throughout my journey this summer! If you want some real inspiration and another journey to follow, look at Connor’s blog, http://www.mindfulmindsets.wordpress.com 

Cheers! I’ll let y’all know how Santa Fe goes! 

This summer starts an adventure to the Wild Wild West. My journey started this Wednesday, venturing to Amarillo, Texas. Our stay was short, but we frequented a local favorite, OHMS. My mom and I each had phenomenal salads, filets, lobster, and scrumptious drinks. I, a berry martini (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries) and she, an ammmaaazzzing cucumber vodka drink. 

  
Starting out bright an early, we left to continue our journey west. Stopping right outside of Amarillo, we found the historic Cadillac Ranch, created by old Texas Millionaire as a modern art creation in the 1970s. 

   
    
After about an hour of driving we finally reached the New Mexico border. Kind of a thrill, turning everything into a reality. 

  

We next stopped at the Blue Hole in Santa Rosa, New Mexico. This natural phenomenon is 81 feet deep and remains 65 degrees year round. Many locals come to enjoy the cool spring and scuba divers come from around to test their skills in the crystal clear water. 

 

After a few (worthwhile) detours, we finally made it to my summer home in Albuquerque! I have been a little nervous about this transition, not wanting to be uprooted from my beloved home in Fort Worth, walking into a community in which I know not a soul. But my first few days in ABQ have been exceptional. 

My first morning here I met with my sponsor at Walmart, who is going to be helping me throughout these next ten weeks with my internship. We went to a local dive “Weck’s” in Los Lunas, where the Distribution Center (DC) is located. I quickly learned that New Mexico is a “red or green” state, and I would have to make a firm decision on which color chile (pronounced chilé, not to be confused with southern chili) I liked the most. I think I’m choosing green…but you’re allowed to alter depending on the meals. I’m not 100% sold just yet. 

After touring the facilities, I met with my new associates to contribute my portion of “VAP Hours.” Walmart pledges that when 450 VAP hours are collectively contributed, a donation of $5000 will be contributed to an organization. Yesterday we worked with the Special Olympics, New Mexico. 

Individuals from across the state gathered at the University of New Mexico to hopefully qualify for nationals which will be held in California. Jeff told all of us that if he stayed on track, he was almost definitely going to advance to nationals! What a humbling experience to be able to be a part of on my first day of my new job. 

After the event, I met up with my mom to pick up some groceries, grab a sandwich at a loca favorite dive, and of course pick up some wine from Trader Joe’s. We relaxed and meddled around the house, watering my new basil leaves and fresh herbs around the house, until it was time to venture to dinner. 

About 20 minutes from my apartment lies a hidden gem, tucked off of a side street, down a gravel road, amidst a neighborhood–Farm and Table. 

We pulled up in our rental car to the most precious, inviting restaurant I’ve ever been to (and I love to eat out so that’s saying something). The hostess told us we would be dining on the patio, overlooking the gardens that provide all of the fresh vegetables, fruits, and treats for the night’s selection. 

Im really at a loss for words, but if you’re ever in New Mexico, do not miss the opportunity to go “porch drinking” at this romantic, lovely, local restaurant. The staff is phenomenal, only to be topped by the delicious and savory flavors of the food that is grown literally in front of you. 

   
  

  

  

  

  

Cheers and enjoy!    

Cannot believe I’m able to intern for Walmart, the supply chain mega-monster! Not only are they #1 on the Fortune 500, but they are also almost a $1,000,000,000,000 (yes, trillion) company. 

  

After we left Hong Kong, social media was much more difficult to access. Though some of us had VPN, wifi was less prevalent, and connection was weaker. After a few days of settling down and getting back into the groove, it is time to give an over-all recap on my trip to China!

First I would like to say it was amazing, and interesting. At times, I found the trip to be extremely tiring and difficult, but the overall experience was one that cannot be duplicated, because of the vast knowledge obtained, the factories that were visited, and the company that was kept.

Ultimately, we visited five different cities in China.

• Hong Kong
• Beijing
• Macau
• Tian Jian
• Guizhou City in Guangdong

Each place we went presented its own beauty, and each added a intriguing sense of the unknown. Hong Kong felt as if you were in New York City. When in Hong Kong, we not only ate Chinese, but also Italian, Thai, and other cuisines from various counties. Once we arrived to Beijing, we found that while these different food types could be found, it was much more difficult. Beijing is a romantic city, with rings of roads that surround the ancient city. Hong Kong is glamorous, mainstream, and fast paced. Beijing is propaganda sharply at 6 PM, played on the loud speakers and on the radio. Hong Kong is late night, Ex-Pats, and Starbucks. Beijing is Tsingtao beer and no turn down service in the hotel.

While so incredibly different, each place presented a feeling of China, none-the-less. China operates under the ideal of “One Country, Two Systems.”

From 1842-1997, Hong Kong was ruled as a British colony. In the year of 1984, it was announced that Hong Kong would be turned over to the Chinese government, a transition that would take place over the years to come. In fear of their riches being taken, many wealthy locals fled Hong Kong to places such as New Zealand, Canada, Britain, Australia, and the United States. The Chinese Government feared this wonderful city would collapse if all of the wealth dispersed, so the government made a promise to rule Hong Kong as the British previous did.

The series of laws created were called the “Basic Laws,” which promised that Hong Kong policies would not change for fifty years, until the year 2047. The region was declared a SAR, or a Special Administrative Region, simply promising the “One Country, Two Systems” philosophy.

As many people know, there has been unrest over the past year in Hong Kong, filling the streets with protests and unhappy millennials. All of the unrest centers around the core elements of the Basic Law. In Hong Kong, the highest position that can be held (similar to our president) is the title of Chief Executive. The Chief Executive is in power for terms of five years, and is elected by the people, theoretically.

In order to be considered on the ticket, you must obtain 1200 signatures from the people, who are assigned by mainland China. This is where the problem arises. The idea of democracy is not really democracy, since the mainland chooses who can be elected, then a decision can be made from there. The students and young people are protesting over the right to choose who is put on the ticket, without Mainland’s input.

Mainland does not want to give into the student’s demands, because then the system would be in uproar. China does not want other territories to see that protesting can bring about change, and therefore are unwilling to compromise. This illustrates one of the main differences between the governance, and therefore lifestyles, between the Mainland and Hong Kong.

Now, with a very vague background of how Hong Kong and Mainland China differ so greatly, I ask you to join me as I travel back through my adventures.

---

Yesterday and today were our first days of actual classes and the entire group being together. Though hectic at times, everything has gone much smoother than I could have ever imagined! Hong Kong is beautifully innovative and surprisingly American. Of course I knew it was going to be similar, but I didn’t know it was going to be equally as English as Cantanese/Mandarin. 

Yesterday we re-visited Victoria’s Peak, but this time we took a different route, via bus instead of cable car. The two routes were extremely different and both offered a different perspective. One, a view of the intertwined jungle, mixed with residents and businesses. The other, a street view winding up a long long series of turns. 

  
After Victoria’s Peak, we went to the Ngong Ping Village, which hosts the monks of the Po Lin Monestary. The Ngong Ping Village is home to the Temple of the 10,000 Buddhas and the Giant Buddha, known as the Tian Tan Buddha. 

The Tian Tan Buddha weighs over 250 tons and encompasses over 34 meters in height. It can be seen for miles around, perched at the top of the mountain. His jolly face is made of gold, symbolizing the ideals of peace, wisdom, and happiness.   

     

Interestingly, a backwards shwatztica is placed in the center of Buddha’s chest. Despite our long negative connotation with this symbol, it was originally known to symbolize Buddha’s love spreading around the world, encompassing all. It wasn’t until WWII that this idea was morphed into how we know it today.   

 The Buddha sits in a lotus pose, with the right hand raised, symbolizing the ending of suffering. The left lays palm facing up, ensuring all wishes will be fulfilled. Fruits such as apples, bananas, and oranges are given to the various Buddhas every day to make sure Buddha is always surrounded by happiness and health. 

   
   

After the Monestary, we went to a market famous among locals. Small shops, restaurants, and fruits and flowers can be purchased in the historical Stanley Market. I purchased a small painting from one of the local artisans. Only $39 HKD ($5 USD). I wasn’t impressed with the other shops, but I did spot a fluffy Persian cat, snoozing in the marketplace. We also visited a small Buddhist Temple, where an alleged Tiger was killed in the village. I’ll let you decide if you think it was actually a tiger because I’m a little skeptical! 

 Corner-side of Stanley Market  

Persian Friend  

       

After a long day of adventures, we went back to the hotel to freshen up and get ready to venture into the mainland of China, to visit the city of Macau. Macau is similar to Las Vegas, except much more spread out. The process of getting from Hong Kong to Macau is extensive; a one hour ferry trip then a bus ride of 15 minutes to the casinos. We went to the Ventian. Even though it was really interesting to experience, Macau was NOTHING like Vegas in reality. The casinos were massive, but the activity and liveliness was absent. There were no bars, no grand restaurants, no strippers, no people!! The shops were closed, there was no music. Only gambling (minus the slot machines). I only lost $35 USD. 

  The only semi-noteworthy picture from Macau 
Day 3

Our third day in China was the first day for real business interactions. We visited the International Purchasing Office (IPO) for Academy Sports and Outdoors and Invest Hong Kong, which provides insights for foreign countries on how to successfully do business in Hong Kong. I really won’t bore anything with the details of the logistics or supply chain knowledge we obtained yesterday. So enjoy pictures from nightlife and cultural experiences later in the week. Day 4 will also be centered around the same activities, so nothing will be able to be posted until Day 5!

On Friday we go to the Nike Factory and then Saturday morning we go to Beijing, where the fun really begins! Mainland China has the majority of all social media outlets blocked, so I am unsure if I will be able to blog. If not, I will update when I’m home, tracking my adventures through the Great Wall and Beyond. 

Today was our first real day in Hong Kong, China!! We started off the morning by having mimosas at a local bar, complimented with omelettes & toast (a little western, but we ventured out later). I wasn’t very down for a rice-theme breakfast. Especially being slightly stomach-quesy from the night before. 

  Group Photo, First Night, May 10, 2015. 

Around noon we caught the Star Ferry to cross us to Hong Kong Island. We vistited Victoria Peak and had an entire view of the island. It was breath taking!! 

 Star Ferry, Hong Kong, May 11, 2015.  
 

  

Nikki & I overlooking Hong Kong from Victoria Peak, May 11, 2015. 

  Frogs in China, Victoria Peak, Hong Kong, May 11, 2015. 

  Incredibly beautiful city. 

 

Lunch was scrumptious with Porabello Sliders and a White Shark wheat beer from New Zealand. Mmm Nikki definitely picked better than the American Pale Ale I originally chose. Chinese beer is also delicious, we drank “Tiger Paw” last night. Amazing! 

 Portabello Sliders  

   

After eight hours of walking and discovering Hong Kong, it was time to take a nap. Talk about extremely jet-lagged, my God. Never been so sleepy!! 

Tonight’s dinner was amazingly…different to say the least. The taste was amazing, but eh the texture really gets to me hahaha we had Shrimp Dumplings, Shao-Mai, fish cake rice noodle, and jasmine tea! 

 Jasmine Tea, Fish Cakes, and Noodles  

 Shao-Mai Dim Sum Dinner (fish cake uneaten)

The theme of our dinner is a dish called “Dim Sum” which are little sticky dumplings with scrumptious treats inside. Shao-Mai is dim sum with pork belly and shrimp. It was by far the prettiest roll, the fish cake, yikes. Not so much. I couldn’t get far past their appearance, a fried, grayish looking dish. 

 Up Close & Personal  
  Menu from Caterking Dim Sum

Finally we finished with desert with some friends we met at Caterking!! I wish I remembered the names of the dishes, but they were quite interesting to say the least. A mixture of puddings, shaved ice, and a traditional Chinese dish 

   Shaved Ice, Chocolate. Garnished with the see through vegetables (right) mentioned below, bananas, and mini rice balls (left)
  Yogurt-ish Dish

  Grape Flavored Shaved Ice 

 

The flavors were all so interesting, but again, it was the textures that really got to me. Especially the see through vegetables that were in all of the dishes. No me gusta !!! But apparently they’re really beneficial for digestion. The mini rice balls were delectable, however, nice and sticky with a bland flavoring accented by the chocolate ice cream in which you dip them. 

Day 1 was exhausting, yet exhilarating and very successful. But now it’s 1:30 AM and time to go to sleep. Tommie is a big day, starting at 8 AM. Cheers for now!

Connor officially told me he was moving to Thailand about two months ago. I am 99% sure I was the last person to know, understandably so, because for selfish reasons Thailand was the last place I wanted him to go. Though, as I thought about my selfishness, I tried every day to put myself in his situation. I would never want someone who “loves me” to tell me I couldn’t do something I had dreamed about for years. So after a couple days of protesting and crying, I decided to dry my tears and offer all of my love and acceptance I could possibly give.

Immediately after it was finalized, I started creating a master plan to throw him a going away party. I’ve never in my life been able to keep a surprise before, without absolutely blowing it because I was too excited for my own good. But this time, it was so important to me, that I wasn’t going to let anything ruin it.

Last Friday night, two nights before Connor left for the Land of the Unknown (or the Land of Smiles as he calls it), I hardly hung out with him all day. Running errands instead and keeping myself busy. I didn’t want him to have any inclination that I was up to something. Everyone knew but him. 40+ people were contacted and committed to going.

We played beer pong around six, with just four of our close friends. Extremely casual. I asked Connor to wear something nice to dinner, but as you can tell, he opted for his favorite Dave Matthew’s shirt instead.

When we walked into Rodeo Goat around 8 PM, Connor was trying to go directly to the bathroom. One of his friends told him that he would just see him when he got back and he was too tired to do anything that night. Needless to say, Connor was a little crushed.

All of us were yelling for him, “Connor!!! We have to go outside first!!! What are you doing?? We all have to go together or they won’t seat us!!!”

Then we rounded the corner and everyone Connor loves and adores was right there. Waiting to celebrate life, change, and a beautiful night. We drank, we were merry, and we enjoyed beautiful company amongst the best people you can know.

Rodeo Goat, Friday, May 1, 2015.
Fort Worth, Mayfest, April 30, 2015.

When Connor left, it was horrible. Knots were in our stomachs from the time we woke up until the minute I watched him walk up the escalator in DFW Airport. We were crying, hugging, kissing, loving, and this lady sitting on the bench starting crying with us, I thought that was pretty amazing.

But once he left, went to Chicago, then caught his airplane to the far East, the pain startled to settle. Because it had to. At that point, you either sink or you swim. There isn’t an in between. It was like pulling a band-aid off. And to be honest, ever since I tool that band-aid off, it has been amazing.

I am so incredibly happy, confident, and excited for what the future brings, and not to mention that Connor is happier than I have ever seen him. He has been wanting to go on this adventure for even years before I met him. I realize how important this is to him, and also realized we would never have a healthy relationship if I did something to inhibit this long-standing dream he has had.

Now that he’s there, the only thing that keeps playing in my mind is

“Look at me now, look at me now” (probably not very easy to understand through the computer)

Below are some pictures of Connor’s first day in Thailand!! Little baby monkey mommas and babies! He says the monkeys over there are common like ferrel cats are here!

Thailand, May 6, 2015

Momma and Baby Monkey, Thailand, May 6, 2015.

Today, I ended my day with a loving present from a dear friend. It’s not secret how sad I’ve been without Connor, acclimating to the shock of everything that’s going on. But as always, a quote can encourage you to accept the things you cannot change. 

Love is taking a few steps backward maybe even more… To give way to the happiness of the person you love -Winnie the Poo

It’s the little things in life that make you realize that today is just another day. Tomorrow is always a better day. And the future is always bright 🌟

This year, I decided to do something a little different for spring break. Back in December, Connor proposed the idea that we should go to Belize. Last year I think he out-did himself in Cabo San Lucas and I know I out-did myself in South Padre (I left after 2 days). We wanted to do something a little out of the ordinary, so he booked a trip to Hatchet Caye Island, about 20 miles off the coast of the coast of Belize (yes, you read that right).

We took an international flight from DFW to Belize City, International Airport, and then chartered a single engine jet to Placencia, Belize, a small island off the eastern coast. And thennnn, we chartered a small boat from Placencia to Hatchet Caye, an hour and a half away. Not going to lie, it was quite the hike.

But, wow, was it worth it.

We were picked up early Sunday morning, after a mild-panic of our cab driver leaving us, and embarked with “Rasta,” someone we would come to find as a great island friend. The boat ride was a little bit of a challenge for me, tending to get sea-sick in choppy, open ocean. But, I really didn’t want to send Connor into any worries too early on the trip, and maintained my composure, haha.

The first few days were nothing but straight relaxation. The island was wonderful, and almost completely self-sufficient. It is owned by a man who also did a similar project in Sierra Leon, Africa. Basically, his ultimate goal wasn’t to greatly profit from the island, but rather to generate and enhance the local economy.

We were immediately worried about the safety of the drinking water, but turns out that it is taken directly from the ocean, sent through a reverse osmosis filtration system, and then re-distributed as drinking water, along with water that was caught during rainfall. Turns out that the island also makes all of its own vegetables including lettuce, basil, rosemary, chiles, peppers, you name it, they can probably grow it. Coconuts were also abundant on the island, providing milk for mixed-drinks and also meat for deserts. All of the fish was locally caught including lionfish, snapper, red fish, and grouper.

Basically, everything that we put into our bodies that week were things that we could spell, picture, and pronounce! One day, one of our friends on the island, went out on an all day fishing adventure. That afternoon, she came back with a pretty good size grouper, still alive at around 4 PM. Come 6:30, dinner was served and we ate 2 hour old blackened grouper. Talk about amazing. My taste buds were singing and dancing.

Not only was the island itself good to us, the people were just as wonderful. It was so interesting glimpsing into these local people’s minds. Their thought processes, beliefs, outlooks, and viewpoints were SO different than what you typically encounter on a daily basis. They were always happy, making positive comments, talking about how much they loved life. And it wasn’t a facade. It was genuine. I asked Sean, the dive master, how his day was one afternoon, and he told me “It’s fantastic. But even if it wasn’t, there’s no use in complaining, huh?”

Isn’t that refreshing? It’s just a completely different outlook. I feel like sometimes my first response is always “whewww it’s hot today, huh” or “goodness gracious I am so thirsty I could die”  or “I got really cooked yesterday, look at my sunburn!” … In those same situations, I think our friends we found would look at is as “the sun is so strong today, mother earth is keeping us bright and happy today, huh ma’am?” and “ooohhh I cannot wait to taste that ice cold water to refresh me!”

Just different strokes for different folks, but I want my strokes to be more like theirs! Not every day can be perfect, but it’s so nice to look at it that way. Connor does a much better job at this than I currently do. I am a little ball of good-loving STRESS. Always wanting things to be perfect. But sometimes the beauty is in the imperfection, and not controlling the outcome of everything.

**

Now, for my little spring break accomplishment.

So, back in July, I worked with an instructor for like a weekend in order to become scuba certified. We went to the River Hills Pool, did our basic skill work, and then drove down the Perdido Key for the weekend to complete my dives. Gabrielle, my sister, and both my parents had already completed their certifications, but she was doing the course as a refresher and re-certification.

I kind of knew from the beginning that I wasn’t comfortable with what I was doing. But if you know my dad, he was pretty decided after paying a grand that I was going to damn well get certified that weekend. Well, let’s just say I didn’t.

When we starting doing the underwater skill testing, Chad should have known that I was NO WHERE near ready to complete my dives…

We got on the boat the following morning and I started going into panic mode. First off, I have an irrational fear of the dark. And let’s just say that 9 miles out into the Gulf of Mexico is not the clearest water you have ever seen before. They told us we were going out to a ship-wreck (a purposefully sunken ship) that created what you can imagine as a “redneck barrier reef.”

As soon as I geared up and jumped into the water, I knew immediately I wasn’t going to be able to do the dive. I didn’t trust my regulator, my mask didn’t fit me correctly, and it was really, really dark. Not to mention that the means for getting to the bottom of the ocean was to grab onto an anchor line and just wait until you hit the bottom.

Not really my cup of tea. I couldn’t even see my legs, only 5 feet under me. Imagine 6 times that depth, just to get to the bottom. I went down, and I came up. That was the end of my diving career that trip. I didn’t think I was ever going to graduate past a snorkler after that.

Now fast forward to Belize. My parents told me that when I went down there, I would be an idiot if I didn’t finish my certification. I got Chad to send all of my information over, but I wasn’t exactly stoked about it, putting it off as long as possible. Finally, the inevitable came, and it was the day before we had to leave.

It was time to sink or swim (literally).

I was talking to Sean, my instructor, telling him about how scared I was. He just kept laughing and saying “What are you scared of Kendall??” “I don’t know, that I’m going to not be able to breathe and DIE!??” “I wouldn’t make you do anything you weren’t capable of doing,” is what he told me. So we practiced a little together and then the next day, he put me on the boat, towards our real barrier reef adventure.

The reef was about 6 miles away from the Hatchet Caye, but the ride was super rough. The swells were high and I started feeling this intense “I’m going to throw up” feeling. I don’t know what it was about scuba that scared me so much. It was worse than the thought of skydiving. Because in all reality, it was a super slim chance something would go wrong while skydiving. Scuba diving was another story, leaving everything pretty much in my hands, 60 feet below the ocean’s surface.

Sean and Rasta stopped the boat, with Connor giggling inside I’m sure. I think everyone could sense and feel my hesitation. But I tried to remember back to the day a few months ago, when I told myself it was all in my head. Just another irrational fear that could hold me back, if I didn’t take it by the horns and conquer it.

I jumped in the water, and I started heaving through my regulator, still above the water! I was really freaking out. But then Sean told me to put my face down, look through the water. I could see the bottom!!!! It was  so clear, it looked like I was diving down in a 12 foot pool, something I had done since I was 8 years old! There was absolutely no need to be scared. I could see.

And so I did it. 1. 2. 3. Let out the air. Regulator in mouth. Weight belt fastened. Don’t forget to equalize.

…I’m touching the bottom! 20 feet down, in a matter of a minute. Easy as pie.

That’s when it started to get easy, and FUN. Before I knew it, we were 60ft. under, approaching Belize’s Barrier Reef. I mean seriously, how cool is that? I got to see everything. Lionfish, baby sharks (mama was probably near), grouper, parrot fish, blue angel fish, lobster, sea fans, urchins, you name it and I probably saw it or its cousin.

It was incredible. And I would have missed all of it. If I would have let fear overcome me.

This proved to myself, again, that I can do anything, as long as I put my mind to it. It was another trial and tribulation. Another test. One of so many to come in life. But that’s what life is worth living for. Showing yourself everything you’re capable of. Exploring. Experiencing. Making memories with people you love.

My spring break was unforgettable. Definitely the most memorable in all of my history of spring breaks. And the best part is, I got to do it with someone I love. Someone who gave me a hug and a kiss and told me congratulations when I was finished.  The same someone who made the whole trip happen, and who makes me better every single day.

I always try to challenge you at the end of my posts. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. That isn’t easy. Today I am going to try to go to a spin-cycle class. Something I haven’t done since 11th grade. It’s probably not going to be fun, or easy, but it will be rewarding, and it’ll be my little accomplishment for the day. I hope you find something to make you feel accomplished as well, there is no better feeling.

Usually I would say, “then have a beer to celebrate,” but I’m not drinking until Easter Break so wish me luck! I know that will be yet another pat on my own back when I’ve done it.

Cheers!

Kendall

Don’t you know I am human, too?

I’m sure almost everyone reading this post has heard these song lyrics before, listening to Rude by Magic!, but have you ever really thought about what that really means to you? Have you ever had your feelings hurt by someone and thought, “Jesus, why do you have to be so frickin rude?”

I know I for one don’t like to be talked down to, but sometimes I catch myself doing it to other people, not really thinking about how badly that can hurt someone’s self-esteem. I hate to be yelled at, but I know the first thing I do when I am upset is yell. I know when I get upset, the first thing I do is take it out on someone else, ignoring the fact that it was my fault. I know sometimes I feel entitled and don’t consciously think about the Golden Rule that is present in every religion.

Does that make me a bad person? No, I don’t think so. It makes me imperfect, irrational, and human. However, I do believe that putting someone else down to make yourself look better shows the darkest colors within your heart.

What’s the point? Does calling someone else fat make you any skinnier? Does calling someone else ugly make you any prettier? Does calling someone a whore make you any more righteous? Does making someone else feel insecure make you almighty? The answer to all of the above is no. So why do people do it?

The answer is clear,  insecurities. Everyone has them, some people just do not effectively deal with them.

I have heard guys and girls be so ruthlessly mean (and do not get me wrong, I have been, too). I once heard a girl call another girl a “used condom.”

Who the fuck would EVER think it is okay to call someone that. It literally blows my mind.

Do people not realize that the old saying “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me,” is completely false??

I’m sorry, I’m getting carried away. This is the first rant/negative post I have posted on this blog so far. But I did fairly warn everyone that it was going to be a huge spectrum of topics. I’m having a salty day and watched one of my dearest, kindest friends get hurt today, for the millionth time by the same person, and it kills me.

I’m just so sick and tired of watching people be mean around me. It’s not fun, cool, entertaining, interesting, or acceptable. I generally just sit back and don’t add any fuel to the flame, but I just want to look at some people and blatantly tell them,

“You are just a mean person, all the way to your core” -Stew from Hangover

UGH!

So let’s see if I can turn this into something relatively positive. How about the flip side. The importance of being kind.

I remember sitting in my Spanish class in high school, and one of my friends surprised me. I think this story touches my heart because this friend was someone I grew up with, but didn’t really maintain a relationship with. She was a year older than me, we had different friend groups, she was a cheerleader, a super nice girl. And our paths didn’t really cross anymore. But on my 16th birthday, I remember her walking into class with cookies. I assumed they were for a football pep rally or something from cheer practice that morning.

But no, they were for me… She baked me my childhood favorite cookies (peanut butter) for my birthday. Just to be kind. Like who does that? Kat Bertaut does, that’s who. That is a truly kind person.

How did she ever remember my birthday from all those years ago? Did she do that for everyone, or did she know I really needed a friend, an act of kindness? How did she remember my favorite cookies?

Truth is, none of those questions really matter. What matters is the pure, unadulterated kindness she showed to me. That’s a beautiful person. She wanted nothing in return, no favors, no reward, no pat on the back. She just wanted to do something nice… That’s what life is about.

Try to take each day and do something kind. I know it’s hard sometimes. Some days are just plain shitty, when all you want to do is be angry at the world, at everyone but yourself. Some days are sad, when all you want to see are half-empty wine glasses instead of half-full. Some days are busy, when all you can think about is what you have to do. Some days are boring, and you wish you lived a different life. Some days are lonely, being without your loved one.

But that shouldn’t be the sole decider of your daily outlook. I’m not perfect, trust me, I’m so far from it… But one thing I am learning is to try to do the small things. For example… It was snowing here in Fort Worth, TX, the other day, and the mail-woman was still delivering her route. It was 22 degrees, I had just scuffled on the ice, my hands freezing, I wasn’t having it. Then here she comes, and I just thought about how not-fun that must be for her right then. I thought about my hands and how much they were hurting from being outside for five minutes. So when I heard my mailbox clink, I went outside and asked her if I could bring her some hand warmers. She looked at me when such surprise in her face, like she couldn’t even believe what she was hearing, and said “yes, please, thank you so much.”

It was almost as if she was as shocked as I was that day on my birthday. She couldn’t believe that someone came outside of their house to do that. And that was what makes everything worth it. Seeing that smile, making someone else happy.

So maybe next time you’re angry, want to say something mean to someone, want to do anything but nice… just do it. It’ll feel amazing for you, and I promise it will shock the hell out of them. Like I told my friend, “buy her a shower curtain, some shampoo and conditioner” that’ll get under her skin more than anything. Kill her with kindness.

I hope everyone can take a little something from this rant/reminiscence. I’m having a little difficulty putting it into words, probably because it’s a difficult thing to do in general. I just think we all need to think before we speak, put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, decide if those words would hurt you, and think about the Golden Rule, no matter what religion (or non-religion) you are.

Everyone can do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” -Aesop

“Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see” -Mark Twain

Cheers!

Kendall

The world needs more people like my new-found friend, Bacari. I’m sitting here in the library, frustrated that my TCU password has just expired and I can’t log into my account, and here comes this wonderful familiar face. He spots me through the many rows of computers, doesn’t just give me a smile and say “what’s up?” but actually gets out of his chair and walks over to meet me half way–to ask how I am doing. What a simple, beautiful gesture to make.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many people like Bacari in my life. I would say that the majority of my closest friends, or longest friends, wouldn’t even get up to make that kind of effort. They might shoot me a “Hey Kendall” then get back to their busy day, and that’s fine, but that’s not Bacari. Bacari is a burst of beautiful, loving energy. Completely self-less in everything that he does. He works for the apartment complex on campus, goes to school full-time, hardly knows a soul at this school, and travels a couple days a week to take a class off-campus at UTA. And he is STILL the happiest person I know.

He doesn’t care how busy his schedule is, he doesn’t complain that he doesn’t have a car on campus, and he doesn’t pity the fact that he spent Thanksgiving with a strange family that he met in one of his night classes. It doesn’t phase him. All he focuses on is how grateful he is to have someone kind enough to invite him for Thanksgiving; how he’s getting a second chance at a class he failed last semester; and how he can make someone else’s day better. And that’s the true beauty in Bacari, a beauty that I long to one day possess. And let me tell you, I have a really long journey ahead of me until I can be like him.

Being self-less is one of the most difficult things, in my opinion, for humans to do. Because by nature, we are selfish, self-loving, self-obsessing creatures. Wanting the best for ourselves and then wanting the best for people around us. You know, to be honest, I don’t think the majority of my friends are truly happy for me when I succeed. It’s not that they don’t like me, but that’s not human nature. You can’t fault them for this imperfection. Because it’s not out of meanness. It’s simply being human. But truly spectacular people can transcend this jealousy and are truly happy when people they love succeed. And I think Bacari is this in the most perfect form.

I almost idealize him in a sense. Because he can make me happy no matter what. It’s crazy because it’s not like we have known each other for years; it’s not like I have spent countless nights with him getting to know each other… He is a friend of a friend who I have also cultivated a relationship with, and have come to really cherish him as a person.

I am challenging myself to be a little more like him. I wish that everyone who encountered me could feel 1/100th of the way that I feel about Bacari. I want to be able to bring this glimpse of happiness to a stranger, a friend, my family, or my boyfriend. I want to be the shining point in someone’s day. I know it’s very possible, because I already have the foundation, but it’s people like this who make you realize that simple things can make you stand out, and maybe you really mean more to people than you even know.

I also challenge anyone else to do the same thing. Next time you don’t want to say hi to someone, don’t just look at your phone to avoid them… Give a simple gesture of a smile. Everyone just wants to feel loved and I believe that something so small can really change people’s overall outlooks. I know that he has shaped mine in a very short time period.

So today, tomorrow, and even the next day, try to be a little more like Bacari.

Cheers,

Kendal