Connor officially told me he was moving to Thailand about two months ago. I am 99% sure I was the last person to know, understandably so, because for selfish reasons Thailand was the last place I wanted him to go. Though, as I thought about my selfishness, I tried every day to put myself in his situation. I would never want someone who “loves me” to tell me I couldn’t do something I had dreamed about for years. So after a couple days of protesting and crying, I decided to dry my tears and offer all of my love and acceptance I could possibly give.

Immediately after it was finalized, I started creating a master plan to throw him a going away party. I’ve never in my life been able to keep a surprise before, without absolutely blowing it because I was too excited for my own good. But this time, it was so important to me, that I wasn’t going to let anything ruin it.

Last Friday night, two nights before Connor left for the Land of the Unknown (or the Land of Smiles as he calls it), I hardly hung out with him all day. Running errands instead and keeping myself busy. I didn’t want him to have any inclination that I was up to something. Everyone knew but him. 40+ people were contacted and committed to going.

We played beer pong around six, with just four of our close friends. Extremely casual. I asked Connor to wear something nice to dinner, but as you can tell, he opted for his favorite Dave Matthew’s shirt instead.

When we walked into Rodeo Goat around 8 PM, Connor was trying to go directly to the bathroom. One of his friends told him that he would just see him when he got back and he was too tired to do anything that night. Needless to say, Connor was a little crushed.

All of us were yelling for him, “Connor!!! We have to go outside first!!! What are you doing?? We all have to go together or they won’t seat us!!!”

Then we rounded the corner and everyone Connor loves and adores was right there. Waiting to celebrate life, change, and a beautiful night. We drank, we were merry, and we enjoyed beautiful company amongst the best people you can know.

Rodeo Goat, Friday, May 1, 2015.
Fort Worth, Mayfest, April 30, 2015.

When Connor left, it was horrible. Knots were in our stomachs from the time we woke up until the minute I watched him walk up the escalator in DFW Airport. We were crying, hugging, kissing, loving, and this lady sitting on the bench starting crying with us, I thought that was pretty amazing.

But once he left, went to Chicago, then caught his airplane to the far East, the pain startled to settle. Because it had to. At that point, you either sink or you swim. There isn’t an in between. It was like pulling a band-aid off. And to be honest, ever since I tool that band-aid off, it has been amazing.

I am so incredibly happy, confident, and excited for what the future brings, and not to mention that Connor is happier than I have ever seen him. He has been wanting to go on this adventure for even years before I met him. I realize how important this is to him, and also realized we would never have a healthy relationship if I did something to inhibit this long-standing dream he has had.

Now that he’s there, the only thing that keeps playing in my mind is

“Look at me now, look at me now” (probably not very easy to understand through the computer)

Below are some pictures of Connor’s first day in Thailand!! Little baby monkey mommas and babies! He says the monkeys over there are common like ferrel cats are here!

Thailand, May 6, 2015

Momma and Baby Monkey, Thailand, May 6, 2015.

Today, I ended my day with a loving present from a dear friend. It’s not secret how sad I’ve been without Connor, acclimating to the shock of everything that’s going on. But as always, a quote can encourage you to accept the things you cannot change. 

Love is taking a few steps backward maybe even more… To give way to the happiness of the person you love -Winnie the Poo

It’s the little things in life that make you realize that today is just another day. Tomorrow is always a better day. And the future is always bright 🌟