Don’t you know I am human, too?

I’m sure almost everyone reading this post has heard these song lyrics before, listening to Rude by Magic!, but have you ever really thought about what that really means to you? Have you ever had your feelings hurt by someone and thought, “Jesus, why do you have to be so frickin rude?”

I know I for one don’t like to be talked down to, but sometimes I catch myself doing it to other people, not really thinking about how badly that can hurt someone’s self-esteem. I hate to be yelled at, but I know the first thing I do when I am upset is yell. I know when I get upset, the first thing I do is take it out on someone else, ignoring the fact that it was my fault. I know sometimes I feel entitled and don’t consciously think about the Golden Rule that is present in every religion.

Does that make me a bad person? No, I don’t think so. It makes me imperfect, irrational, and human. However, I do believe that putting someone else down to make yourself look better shows the darkest colors within your heart.

What’s the point? Does calling someone else fat make you any skinnier? Does calling someone else ugly make you any prettier? Does calling someone a whore make you any more righteous? Does making someone else feel insecure make you almighty? The answer to all of the above is no. So why do people do it?

The answer is clear,  insecurities. Everyone has them, some people just do not effectively deal with them.

I have heard guys and girls be so ruthlessly mean (and do not get me wrong, I have been, too). I once heard a girl call another girl a “used condom.”

Who the fuck would EVER think it is okay to call someone that. It literally blows my mind.

Do people not realize that the old saying “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me,” is completely false??

I’m sorry, I’m getting carried away. This is the first rant/negative post I have posted on this blog so far. But I did fairly warn everyone that it was going to be a huge spectrum of topics. I’m having a salty day and watched one of my dearest, kindest friends get hurt today, for the millionth time by the same person, and it kills me.

I’m just so sick and tired of watching people be mean around me. It’s not fun, cool, entertaining, interesting, or acceptable. I generally just sit back and don’t add any fuel to the flame, but I just want to look at some people and blatantly tell them,

“You are just a mean person, all the way to your core” -Stew from Hangover

UGH!

So let’s see if I can turn this into something relatively positive. How about the flip side. The importance of being kind.

I remember sitting in my Spanish class in high school, and one of my friends surprised me. I think this story touches my heart because this friend was someone I grew up with, but didn’t really maintain a relationship with. She was a year older than me, we had different friend groups, she was a cheerleader, a super nice girl. And our paths didn’t really cross anymore. But on my 16th birthday, I remember her walking into class with cookies. I assumed they were for a football pep rally or something from cheer practice that morning.

But no, they were for me… She baked me my childhood favorite cookies (peanut butter) for my birthday. Just to be kind. Like who does that? Kat Bertaut does, that’s who. That is a truly kind person.

How did she ever remember my birthday from all those years ago? Did she do that for everyone, or did she know I really needed a friend, an act of kindness? How did she remember my favorite cookies?

Truth is, none of those questions really matter. What matters is the pure, unadulterated kindness she showed to me. That’s a beautiful person. She wanted nothing in return, no favors, no reward, no pat on the back. She just wanted to do something nice… That’s what life is about.

Try to take each day and do something kind. I know it’s hard sometimes. Some days are just plain shitty, when all you want to do is be angry at the world, at everyone but yourself. Some days are sad, when all you want to see are half-empty wine glasses instead of half-full. Some days are busy, when all you can think about is what you have to do. Some days are boring, and you wish you lived a different life. Some days are lonely, being without your loved one.

But that shouldn’t be the sole decider of your daily outlook. I’m not perfect, trust me, I’m so far from it… But one thing I am learning is to try to do the small things. For example… It was snowing here in Fort Worth, TX, the other day, and the mail-woman was still delivering her route. It was 22 degrees, I had just scuffled on the ice, my hands freezing, I wasn’t having it. Then here she comes, and I just thought about how not-fun that must be for her right then. I thought about my hands and how much they were hurting from being outside for five minutes. So when I heard my mailbox clink, I went outside and asked her if I could bring her some hand warmers. She looked at me when such surprise in her face, like she couldn’t even believe what she was hearing, and said “yes, please, thank you so much.”

It was almost as if she was as shocked as I was that day on my birthday. She couldn’t believe that someone came outside of their house to do that. And that was what makes everything worth it. Seeing that smile, making someone else happy.

So maybe next time you’re angry, want to say something mean to someone, want to do anything but nice… just do it. It’ll feel amazing for you, and I promise it will shock the hell out of them. Like I told my friend, “buy her a shower curtain, some shampoo and conditioner” that’ll get under her skin more than anything. Kill her with kindness.

I hope everyone can take a little something from this rant/reminiscence. I’m having a little difficulty putting it into words, probably because it’s a difficult thing to do in general. I just think we all need to think before we speak, put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, decide if those words would hurt you, and think about the Golden Rule, no matter what religion (or non-religion) you are.

Everyone can do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” -Aesop

“Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see” -Mark Twain

Cheers!

Kendall